But Jon Stewart Isn't!
Said by Mr. Stewart while emceeing the Peabody Awards: "This afternoon's program is sponsored by your Internet and phone records. Isn't that interesting — your Internet and phone records, because 'blah blah blah, 9-11.'. Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for somehow a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.' I think that was Jefferson. Oh wait. That was Hermann Goering. Shoot."
He is officially at the top of my man-crush list. Um, Stewart, not Goering.
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Penn Slams "Insensitive" Reporting
Actor Sean Penn has blasted the US media for "insensitive" reporting, insisting journalists no longer make time to investigate stories thoroughly. The crusading star recently covered the Iranian elections for the San Francisco Chronicle, submitting a 12,000 word article about the eye-opening experience. But the Mystic River actor admits the press project has left him cynical about US reporting. He says, "There's a constant insensitivity. I watched journalists. They could only ever be seen by their subject as the person with a deadline. It's 'breaking news', literally. By the time you get the news, you've broken it. You don't get a chance to investigate stories. These journalists spend half the time in the internet cafe, filing a story."
Um. Sean? We live in a culture of immediacy. Twenty four hour news has conditioned the public into an "instant gratification" mode insofar as current events; and if you don't tell them, they will look elsewhere. So, of course the reporters are fighting deadlines; and because of this, they don't have time to look at EVERY SINGLE THREAD OF A STORY. Don't hate the player, hate the game; oh and by the way, THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN THE GAME IN JOURNALISM. Also, there's this thing in journalism called "objectivity". It allows a reporter to write a story without become so involved that they become part of the story; you might want to look into that. It isn't like acting; where you WANT to get involved and be part of the story. The Anderson Cooper model is a good example; he gets involved with the story, he cares, he gets emotional without BECOMING the story. Mostly. You, on the other hand, LOVE being the story. Like Michael Moore, you love the sound of your own crowing more than you love the subject of your rants; and thusly you both make all liberals look bad. If you could please stop being such a retard, that would be awesome. Failing that, just stop appearing in public. THANKS!
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Eight More Years!
Warning: I'm going to say some incendiary things in this post. I'm not threatening to commit the acts I describe; I am merely saying that someone SHOULD be committing them. If you don't like what I have to say, change the fucking channel, moron.
Now. On to the show.
I think George W. Bush should be president for eight more years.
Let me allow that to sink in before I continue.
Eight. More. Years.
Yes.
Why, you may ask? Why do I, I hardcore Bush hater, want him in office for eight more years?
Simply put, because the opposition to those like him isn't angry enough. Not yet.
I watched "The Henry Rollins Show" on IFC this weekend. On it, Henry and Patton Oswalt had a great conversation about the reaction of the American voting public to Bush. The conclusion that Patton has come to is this: we, as a people, sort of think it's amazing that an idiot like Dubya could have come this far. And when he and his cronies lie about, oh, EVERYTHING, we sort of admire them for their moxie. It's like a cute Labrador puppy who keeps doing the exact same bad thing, no matter how many times his nose is rubbed in it, no matter how many times you yell at him, no matter how many times you swat his nose...he still keeps going back and repeating the same bad act. Dubya is like that puppy. Stupid, but sort of cute the way he looks all tail-waggy and sad when he's caught with his nose in the cat litter for the tenth time.
When I say the opposition isn't angry enough; I don't mean the far left. They've been angry enough since 1998, when he first started his exploratory committee. I mean moderate democrats. I mean moderate republicans. I mean libertarians.
The fake war on terror was bad. The climbing national debt and corporate welfare was worse. The immigration "debate" is awful. Now, despite no chance of it actually passing, a new constitutional amendment banning gay marriage is being put forth.
To be asked to swallow yet another jagged little pill from this White House, from this Congress, is too much. There should be riots in the streets. The US capitol dome and the White House should be aflame. There should be military troops fighting a futile holding action against a new American revolution.
But there isn't. We are sheep. Baaaaaaaaaaaaa. We only fight when our own personal interest is threatened. Usually our money, but also our snacks.
Imagine if a constitutional amendment banning an unmarried couple (of any sex) from living in the same house was put forth. They are already trying this in small measures in Missouri. Or imagine an amendment saying that you could not marry outside your ethnicity. Might that get the attention of a bored and slightly amused electorate?
Nope. What would, you ask? Simple. An amendment banning television. THEN we'd have ourselves a revolution. I'd be right up front, too. I gots to have my TEEVEE.
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Random Thoughts: The Thursday BUT I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE FUCKING DENTIST Edition
- If you are female, have large breasts, and are wearing a tight sweater or showing more than an inch of cleavage, DUDES ARE GOING TO STARE AT YOU, specifically, at your rack. Enjoy it, ignore it, get a reduction or get thee to a nunnery. Glaring when you "catch" us looking at your self-advertisement just makes you look bitter and hypocritical.
- On a related note, if I can see more than half an inch of your coin slot, I feel like I owe you a drink. But that's just one man's feelings.
- Please note that the "War On Drugs" has not yet targeted McDonald's french fries. Ha.
- If a "higher being" actually existed, I'd hope she'd be a lot like Mary J. Blige.
- X-Men 3 quick review: a large quantity of characters is no substitute for actual character development. You're welcome!
- A sign that you have been domesticated: cleaning the kitchen with your partner before going to bed makes you feel all warm inside.
- Has Tony Snow quit yet? No? Soon, one hopes.
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