Things About Which I Officially Do Not Give A Shit (today, anyway)

(in no particular order)

- Tom Cruise

- Katie Holmes

- Suri Cruise (photos of, the actual existence of, etc.)

- Brooke Shields

- Paris Hilton (her, her "album", who she blows, the actual existence of, etc.)

- Lindsay Lohan's shaved vag (photos of, the smell of, the texture of, the actual existence of, etc.)

- Katie Couric

- The View

- Sumner Redstone

- Sports

- Your problems

- Jared Leto's hair

- the new religious website started by the Democrats

- David Hasslehoff

- flavored condoms

- any dessert not involving chocolate

- Ray Nagin

- Barrack Obama

- Dubya

- Karl Rove

- Steve Irwin (dead, alive, zombie, whatever)

- Barbara Boxer

- Donald Rumsfeld

- Tony Blair

- Anything I left off this list, but literally could not care less about