Answers To Unasked Questions

- No, I'm not on Friendster.

- Yes, I have a blog.

- No, you may not have the address.

- She's in the bathroom.

- Two parts cat litter, one part shredded bibles.

- Dark chocolate.

- At least twice a week. More often if necessary.

- First you dip some toilet paper in the clean bowl. Otherwise it won't work.

- Only if everyone is asleep, and I'm in the mood.

- Dry rub. Wet marinades make the meat dry out too much at higher temperatures.

- If she's pregnant, old, or infirm in some way. Otherwise, no way.

- Sure, if you want to look like a raccoon welder.

- No, a raccoon who is a welder, not someone who welds raccoons.

- No, that isn't like a dogwelder.

- Duct tape, cardboard, and some sticks. Oh, and your imagination.

- No, I'm not sorry, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Twice if pushed.

- Because it makes me gag.

- More than I should.

- Of course. Who wouldn't? Rufus is awesome, and possibly the best spooner in the universe.

- Only when I need to vent.

- I know. It's just that I don't fucking care. That's all.

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We're All Going To Die. Hooray!

It's really just a question of how, and when. Be safe!

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Oh. Hi!

February? Really? Gosh. Sorry. No excuse.

A few random thoughts:

- Suri...Moxie CrimeFighter...Zolten Penn...Bluebell Madonna...Apple...Poppy Honey...Daisy Boo...Pilot Inspektor...Speck Wildhorse...Zowie...Tinkerbell...Peaches Honeyblossom...Fifi Trixibelle...Tigerlily. These, dear reader, are celebrity baby names. Add this to the "list of things needing independent oversight".

- The McDonald's salads aren't bad. If you take off the cheese. And add cucumbers and your own delicious salad dressing. Mmmm.

- If you know anyone who has three million dollars to spare, and wants to be the silent/money partner for a ren-fair/D&D concept bar/restaurant in Chicago, let me know. I have a great business plan ready and waiting.

- Moron Watch: Tony Snow (tell us, Tone; what do the nuts in Dubya's poop taste like?), Hillary Clinton (ethanol? really? more expensive and not as good as regular gas? ah. okay.), Al Gore (hi! global warming is a natural process that we humans can't stop, okay? so, shut up, grow your beard back, and go help Tipper put labels on all the music I like.), Donald Rumsfeld (dude, have you considered, you know, quitting your job and going home to fish? seriously.), Mayor Daley (foie gras? you're gonna get mad about fucking foie gras? idiot.) and the CTA (just because).

That's all. I'll try to post more. Promise.

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