John Wayne: Gayer Than Eight Guys Blowing Nine Guys*

Um. Yeah.



* © Patton Oswalt, all rights reserved.

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Miscellany...

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I don't post if I'm not moved to, or if I can't be bothered.

Here's what's going on in my world:

- The other day I was informed that my contract would not be renewed at my current job. This sucks on many levels, but very nice of them to give me five weeks warning, so I can look for another situation. I wish I could stay on here. The money's good, the people are nice, and free lunch. Meh.

- I want to go back and finish college; but I can't decide what I want to study. I have it narrowed down to film/video editing (with training in flash and shockwave) or forensic accounting.

- Saw "Brokeback Mountain". It will win many, many Oscars, deservedly so. It's is a wonderful film.

- Saw "King Kong". It is also a wonderful film, for similar reasons. Both films made me cry. The GF hated it; thought it was too long. This from someone who doesn't flinch at watching all three LOTR films, director's cuts, back to back to back. I just think she's scairt of GIANT SPI-DERS.

- Here are some funny photos or things I've found of late:



I took this picture in my cubicle the other day. I hung my coat up, like a good boy...and the whole day, I kept thinking that someone was BEHIND ME. Yikes. I went back to crumpling it on top of my filing cabinet.



Oh, that George Bush...he even has bad grammar in PRINT! HA! The president is a retard who has no public speaking skills! Ha! No one has ever observed that, EVER!

That's all for now. Back to eating my apple. Meh.

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Who Are These "People" Making These "Choices", And How Retarded Are They?

Ah. The People's Choice Awards. I find them fascinating, mainly as a compass of what was popular...five years ago.

Example: Sandra Bullock won for "Favorite Female Movie Star". Um. What films did she "star" in (as she is a "movie star") last year? You can't really count Crash as a "starring" role; she plays a small, not flashy part in the film. Did anyone see Loverboy? I didn't. From what I've read, it doesn't seem like she has a starring role. Then we have Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. She's the star of that film. On a budget (not including advertising) of $45M, it has thus far grossed $48,472,213 in US theatres (worldwide: $101M). I cannot determine how much the DVD has grosses through sales and rentals; but it is currently listed below "Alfie" on the Amazon top sellers list, so that's not a good sign. My point is, SHE DID NOT STAR IN A SUCCESSFUL FILM IN 2005.

The "Favorite Male Action Star" was Matthew McConaughey. Yes. That Matthew McConaughey. "Male Action Star"? For what? For fucking SAHARA?!?!?!? Did these people fucking SEE that movie? On purpose?

"Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith" won both "Favorite Movie" and "Favorite Movie Drama". Wow, do I not have my finger on the pulse of pop culture. To a person, everyone I talked to about that movie FUCKING HATED IT. I fell asleep three times. How does that piece of shit beat "Batman Begins", in TWO FUCKING CATEGORIES? "Hitch" (which it beat for "Favorite Movie") was better than that fucking movie.

I have no trouble with their other winners, in theory. Brad Pitt, leading man? Okay. Of the three nominees (Jamie Foxx & Adam Sandler), he'd be a distant second. "Favorite Female Action Star" Jennifer Garner? For "Alias" alone. NOT for "Elektra". All I know is, I hope that non-retards get an awards show soon. It's only fair.

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I...AM...LOGISTICS BOY!!!!!

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