Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Who Are These "People" Making These "Choices", And How Retarded Are They?

Ah. The People's Choice Awards. I find them fascinating, mainly as a compass of what was popular...five years ago.

Example: Sandra Bullock won for "Favorite Female Movie Star". Um. What films did she "star" in (as she is a "movie star") last year? You can't really count
Crash as a "starring" role; she plays a small, not flashy part in the film. Did anyone see Loverboy? I didn't. From what I've read, it doesn't seem like she has a starring role. Then we have Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. She's the star of that film. On a budget (not including advertising) of $45M, it has thus far grossed $48,472,213 in US theatres (worldwide: $101M). I cannot determine how much the DVD has grosses through sales and rentals; but it is currently listed below "Alfie" on the Amazon top sellers list, so that's not a good sign. My point is, SHE DID NOT STAR IN A SUCCESSFUL FILM IN 2005.

The "Favorite Male Action Star" was Matthew McConaughey. Yes. That Matthew McConaughey. "Male Action Star"? For what? For fucking
SAHARA?!?!?!? Did these people fucking SEE that movie? On purpose?

"Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith" won both "Favorite Movie" and "Favorite Movie Drama". Wow, do I not have my finger on the pulse of pop culture. To a person, everyone I talked to about that movie FUCKING HATED IT. I fell asleep three times. How does that piece of shit beat "Batman Begins", in TWO FUCKING CATEGORIES? "Hitch" (which it beat for "Favorite Movie") was better than that fucking movie.

I have no trouble with their other winners, in theory. Brad Pitt, leading man? Okay. Of the three nominees (Jamie Foxx & Adam Sandler), he'd be a distant second. "Favorite Female Action Star" Jennifer Garner? For "Alias" alone. NOT for "Elektra". All I know is, I hope that non-retards get an awards show soon. It's only fair.


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